Broken Beyond Repair
by IEarntMyStripes
Summary: Your whole life can change within the blink of an eye, nothing ever stays the same as it is. When Sam is given news that will change her life for the worst. She Is Broken Beyond Repair and sometimes. finding a reason to carry on living can be one of the hardest things to do...{Sam/Zoe & Sam/Fletch Friendship}
1. 1:15am

a knock at the door, you are awoken by a knock at the door, you look at the clock and it reads 1:15am and you wonder who the bloody hell could be calling at this time at night, none the less you get up and you wrap your dressing gown around your body and you head downstairs as the door goes again, before you open the door you look through the spy hole, a horror feeling in your stomach tells you that this isn't good news.

You see two police officers at your door, and you undo the lock to the door, 'Sam Nichols, I am detective morris, this is my partner detective Stevenson is it ok for us to come in and have a chat? Its about your fiancee Tom Kent' one of them say, you nod and say nothing. and you allow them to follow you into the lounge where your about to hear news that will change your life altogether.

'I'm afraid Miss Nichols, your fiancee Tom was involved in a stabbing that too place outside a nightclub this evening and i'm so very sorry to have to tell you this but Tom died at the scene' Detective Morris tells you.

Your in shock, you don't know how to react, how do you react when you're told that kind of news, what reaction is normal? Do you act normally?'

You're not sure. But the next news is enough to shock you.

'We are treating Toms stabbing as murder, now a family liaison officer will be here to talk you through what will happen next. It is best you are not left alone right now, have you any friends or family you can go to tonight?' Dc Morris asked.

You give a name. 'adrian fletcher, Zoe hanna' you reply. 'Have you a contact number for them both?' You nod, you give your phone to the officers, and they do the calls for you.

You sit there as still as possible, unsure how to react. How your supposed to react. Eventually the police officer returns who has spoke to your friends. 'Zoe is on her way,' Dc Morris tells you and you nod.

You don't know what to i, 'we will need to ask you some questions preferably in the morning' Dc Morris says and you nod again. 'I'm again so very sorry for your loss' he said and you nod.

You hear a car pull up outside your flat and that tells you that Zoe is here, the police officer answers the door for you and Zoe walks in to the room

'we will leave you with Zoe now we will be in touch' you hear them say and Zoe thanks them for you, when they're gone you feel the tears forming in your eyes, you try all you can to stop them falling but you can't help it,

'Sam its okay' Zoe said and she opens her arms you allow yourself to be comforted because now your life will never be the same again.


	2. 10:15am

10:15am

You awake to find yourself in a bed that isn't know to you, your unsure, the events of the previous night come back to you and you remember the police officers at your door telling you that.. that.. Tom's dead.

Your still in shock, denial even. You don't want to believe its true but you know deep inside that it is, you think back to a few weeks ago, the blazing row that you had. It made working with him nearly unbearable.  
You were pretty sure your relationship was over as you both hadn't spoken yet you had hope that you would both sort it out and now that will never happen, a pang of guilt hits you hard because the last memories you have of Tom are the ones of you arguing.

The bedroom door opens and it reveals Zoe, she clears her throat. 'Your awake' she notices and you nod 'thanks for letting me stay here, i don't think i could bear sleeping in my own bed.. Knowing that he's, he's gone' you tell her. Zoe nods in understanding'Your family liaison officer called Beth arrived an hour ago, here is her card, shes there for you to call whenever you need to call her, you need to make a statement to the police' Zoe tells you

'Can it wait?' You reply and Zoe nods, 'of course'. She tells you 'can I use your bathroom?' You reply and she nods. 'Its the second on the right' you sense that she feels awkward around you too and you nod, she leaves so you can gather your thoughts. You head into the bathroom locking the door, you look in the mirror and you let an almighty scream at your reflection.

You notice a bruise forming, just under your right eye, you think back to what may have caused this. You think about it for a another minute or so before you focus your thoughts on having a shower,

You turn the shower on, undress and you slip yourself under the warm water letting it soothe your muscles just like you want it to. and you close your eyes.

*Flashback*

Tom was taking you out for dinner as it was your two year anniversary, he treated you to somewhere posh, for a change your surprised at his choice but you don't mind at all, you eat dinner in a comfortable silence and when you drop your napkin you pick it up and are shocked to see Tom down on one knee. 'Samantha Nichols, will you do me the honours and making me the happiest man alive, will you marry me?' He asks

'Tom have you gone bloody mad?' You reply. 'Maybe, but will you?' He asked 'yes, yes of course I will' you reply he pulls you into a kiss and the ring is a perfect fit.

*end of flashback*

Your stood under the shower the tears are falling down your eyes as you remember every detail of that evening it was perfect. Tom had accepted you for you. For your flaws and all.

You get out the shower wrapping a towel around your frame. Its then you find broken glass. You wonder if it would help, you promised Tom that you would never do it again but he's not here to help you to stop you, you glide the glass along your arm and you cut yourself to the point you feel nothing but numbness.


	3. 10:35am

_10:35am_

You've slide the broken glass across your arm and you feel better. Almost like the emotion you feel at the moment is no longer there. You look at the newly formed cut that scatters along your arm, and you sigh. This sigh is a sigh of relief you know that the affects of this is only temporary as you've been here before.

The less obvious scars across your arms that have faded over the years but are still there when you give a more detailed look. You feel numb. Like you have no emotion and you hope to dear lord that it stays for a little longer.

You give a thought to Tom and you're so very suddenly hit by a pang of guilt you have broken your promise to him. You promised you would never do it again and you've already done it. And it's barely been twenty four hours since he died, not even that. And you've already managed to break one of his promises.

_Flashback_

_'Sam' he whispers your name and you wake up and you smile at him, he returns your smile. It's the first time ether one of you have slept together. Well the first time since you both declared your feelings for each other. And to your surprise you expected Tom to be wham bam thank you madam but he wasn't. _

_He was so gentle. He placed kisses along your neck and arms. And your body which send shivers down your spine whenever his lips touched your skin. He stops when he notices your scars and you see his eyebrows turn into a burrow. And you know that he's likely to ask you about them. _

_'Sam.' He says concern in his voice. You can't bring yourself to look at him instead you want to cover up. And that's what you begin to do. 'Sam. What are you doing?' he asks as he pulls you back to prevent you from leaving reaching for your clothes. _

_'You've seen my scars.' You tell him. 'I know I have. Why would someone so beautiful like yourself. Feel the need to do that to yourself' he asks me. 'You wouldn't understand' I reply. 'Try me. Nothing you say will make me change the way I feel about you' he tells you and you can't help but feel butterflies in your stomach. _

_'Tom I don't know what to tell you.' You tell him. 'What triggered your need to do this to yourself?' he asks you and you're not sure how to reply. Or whether how to tell him. You take a deep breathe in. 'I was sexually assaulted when I was a teenager.' You tell him. You watch his expression. To see his reaction. The last thing you want is his sympathy. _

_'When you say sexually assaulted. What do you mean exactly?' he asks you. You feel a lump in your throat. 'I was raped.' You tell him. He's stunned. 'Oh Sam.' He says within a few minutes, 'I never use the word rape. I use sexually assault and I do not consider myself a victim. I am a survivor' you tell him and he kisses you on the forehead. _

_'You are a survivor, after what you've gone through it's not surprising but I promise you. What you've just told me will never change what I think of you. You will always be my proud little survivor. I love you. But you're not to do it again okay, you promise?' Tom looks at you and you nod. _

_'I promise' you tell him and with that he pulls you into a kiss. And he holds you close._

_End Of Flashback _

You find yourself crying once again as you think back to those moments. Of your relationship. All you have now is memories of the man you love. You feel as if your heart has been ripped out. And nothing will ever take away the pain that you're feeling right now. You just want the pain to end. _You just want Tom back. _


	4. 12:10pm

12:10pm

After choosing a long sleeved shirt which covered your arms and a pair of jeans l, you head out of the spare bedroom, and you head downstairs where you hear Zoe chatting to someone, you hesitate before you walk into the room, Zoe and this woman stop chatting at once.

'Sam, this is Beth, she will be your family liaison officer while the police hold they're investigations into Tom's death' Zoe explains.

'Sam, how are you feeling?' Beth asks you. You take a moment to respond. 'not great' you reply and Beth nods.

'Sorry where are my manners would you like a drink?' Zoe asked Beth. 'No thanks,' Beth replied simply. 'Sam?' Zoe asks 'just a glass of water' you reply and Zoe goes and fetch it.

'Sam as you are aware the police are treating Tom's death as murder which means there will be a post mortem to establish the cause of death! Beth explains.

'But i was told Tom was stabbed' you reply and Beth nods 'that is correct but we need to know if the stabbing was indeed cause of death' Beth explained.

The very thought of Tom being cut open and cut up made you want to gag. 'While this is going on, i'm afraid the morgue will not be able to release Toms body so you may have to hold off any funeral plans for the time being.

It was bad enough that Tom had been taken away from you but knowing you couldn't bury him was too much...

'Sam we really need to ask you some questions about when you last saw Tom what happened and stuff like that' Beth explained.

'Can it wait?' You reply 'i'm afraid not' Beth tells you. You nod 'Okay lets do it' you reply and Zoe walks in carrying a glass of water.

'Sam is coming down to the station to make a statement about where she last saw Tom, you can come down for support' Beth said and Zoe nodded 'okay' she said and you and her both get your coats, and you head over to the car.


End file.
